1. Never – and I mean never – dismiss or in any way appear to doubt the difficultly of Post-Show Blues

I know, I know – the entity of Post-Show Blues is not, as yet, a medically recognised condition. Nevertheless, it is extremely powerful, and can even be a corrosive force. Do not underestimate Post-Show Blues. And, if you do, don't do it in front of a Thespian, because there is the possibility that they could lose it and chop off your arm. I did warn you.

2. At least pretend that you're listening to their long theatrical rants

The Thespian can suffer from a build-up of theatrical passion, which has to come out in one way or another. The Rant can be a direct result of this; bear in mind that this release is a necessary and healthy process, so allowing it to happen is the best thing that you can do for the Thespian. Now, the fact that you might not want to know the entire history of a certain show is really of very little consequence. Just pretend that you're listening.

3. Learn to blank out the incessant singing

That's for your own good really. The Thespian may not even realise that they are singing until the second or third verse, so there is very little point in trying to prevent them. And, if you do ask them to stop singing, they might well take that as a direct insult regarding their voice. So, it will be easiest for all involved if you just learn to ignore the singing when they burst into their favourite verses from great West End musicals like The Lion King, Wicked or Les Miserables. I'd advise you to start practising now.

If you see them perform:

Note: if you go to see a Thespian perform, you are already winning. Good move. Very, very good move.

Of course, there are still certain things that you can do – easy but highly effective things – that will further improve your standing with the Thespian.

4. Remember something really specific about the performance

Anyone can come out of a show and say that it was good. It's not a bad thing to say, but if you really want to get on side with a Thespian, remembering something specific about their performance – a certain moment, perhaps – will win you a lot of bonus points. And it's probably best remember something good about the show – criticism is best coming from the director.

5. Buy them flowers / chocolate – or a car

So simple, but so effective. The Thespian will probably say that you 'really didn't need to' get them anything – and of course, they are lying. Well, they might prefer to use the term 'acting'. It is invariably nice to receive a gift or card after a show. Hint.

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